Kids and Germ Warfare

I have that sneezing, coughing, aching, I-want-my-Mommy cold. Since my mommy’s not here to take care of me, I’m taking care of myself with a warm blanket, a cup of hot tea, a box of tissues, and lots of sick time on my hands to feel sorry for myself.

What’s the problem here? I exercise. I eat the right foods. I get enough sleep. So why am I sick? GERMS! Those darn germs! Where DO they come from? I’ve done some serious investigating and this is what I’ve found.

Approximately one-third of the teachers in our PreK-8 school are sick. Most of those teachers work with the primary grades. Upon further investigation, I’ve observed primary students with drippy noses and hands that wipe those noses clean and then remain unwashed. I’ve had students almost knock me over on their way to the bathroom only to have them do it again on their way out. Besides some shouting and banging of stall doors, I didn’t hear toilets flush or any hand washing sounds. I’ve seen students play with the bottom of their shoes, lick their hands, pick their noses, scratch in odd places, and cough in teachers’ faces.

This is my conclusion, and the real story behind those innocent faces of our student population. The kids in our school with these bad health habits aren’t really students. They are giant germs – a secret weapon – invented by other students, probably the upper grades, out to rid the school of all teachers so they can have a free-for-all with unknowing substitute teachers, or in the best case scenario, a free day for themselves because there is no one left to teach them.

Okay, maybe my cold symptoms are distorting my thinking, but just in case; here are some words of advice to all.

Teach your children good health habits and keep a wary eye on those who don’t have them.

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